Dad's In Town

My Dad and Step-mom are in town visiting for a week. It is nice they are staying with my uncle. I love my Dad dearly but he can be challenging for me. He has a big issue about weight... always has... and always will.

I remember being in 1st grade or was it 2nd grade and my dad's old girlfriend said that it look like I lost some weight and I was made to tell her thank you which infuriated me. I also remember another one of my Dad's girlfriends, Cindy (Hershal and I loved her), after having kids packed on a few pounds and Dad telling my brother and I, "Aren't you glad Cindy and I didn't stay together because he has gotten fat" It was ingrained to me in a early age. Now, I have a major weight problem and have went the opposite way he wanted me to.

Monday, Hayden was playing with Grandpa and talking about how he was swimming all last week and my dad made the comment of did anybody say they saw Shamu in the water. That sent my blood a boiling. I was good and just calmly stated that he is too young to understand the fat jokes. He then did some backpedaling and was trying to play it off that he was calling him a killer whale because he was fierce. I know the true intention of the comment. Hayden is overweight but not extremely. He has gotten several inches taller since last year and has only gained a pound. I think that is an accomplishment. Last year when my dad was visiting, while we were still in the airport after he arrived, not even 10 minutes since he got off the plane he said, "Looks like Hayden is getting a belly" But it is not just him that has a issue it is all of his siblings too, except for Harold. Which is probably why I feel most comfortable around him.

Why can't we just accept people for who they are. Don't they realized the fat comments hurt and that it does more harm than good. Yes, I am obese. I know that. You telling me isn't going to change that. I know that I need to lose weight for myself, my health, and my family. I get that. I don't like looking in peoples eyes, especially if their my family's, and see them judging me. I am still the same Elysha. I am here. Why can't you see me? Why do I need to thin to feel like I am accepted by my own family.